C Am G C Water temperature's rising, the oil pressure's low Am F Dm G He's coughing out black smoke wherever he goes C Am F G He should service the engine but we daren't tell him so C Am G C For he is a grumpy old boater Baggy jeans, oily tee-shirt, scuffed leather boots An abrasive old misfit, too fond of disputes For politeness and manners he don’t give two hoots For he is a grumpy old boater Irksome and set in misogynous ways He lives in the past, dreams of long bygone days He's an outspoken critic of all he surveys For he is a grumpy old boater Content on his boat through the long winter storms He's a churlish hothead when the temperature warms It's 'Bah Humbug' to summer and those leisure boat swarms For he is a grumpy old boater He'll shout and he'll swear at boats passing by 'Cos they're always too fast and he'll never see why He won't be a candidate for 'Mr Nice Guy' For he is a grumpy old boater When boaters greet him he just cuts them dead Averting his eyes, he stares straight ahead "How do?" and "Good morning" and are words left unsaid For he is a grumpy old boater That queue at the locks just couldn't be worse While stopped does he chat? No, quite the reverse He'll gripe and he'll groan, he’ll chunter and curse For he is a grumpy old boater So take note grumpy boater, you know who you are On tow-path, afloat, or propping up bar A cantankerous dipstick who just goes too far So push off you grumpy old boaters © I H Bruce 2016 A description of the type of boater I am trying not to be. There are already too many!